Thursday, April 26, 2007
Seek
... and ye shall find. I'm not sure why, but that sentence just popped into my head as I was walking out of the office this evening...
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Age Discrimination
I was ecstatic when my boss first told me that I would be getting a team of my own, but that quickly changed when I found out whom I got to manage. The goal of my project is to build a very simple and easy-to-use merchandising tool. In fact, it is so simple that anyone can just pick it up and run with it without any training, as any well-designed tool should be. But, it took me 2 weeks to explain the core functionalities of one very simple page to the new person. The page has 3 major functionalities - create, enter and search for a link. Simple, right? I mean... you create a link, save that in to the library, and search for the stupid link! To be honest, if you were to work in the IT business, it doesn't get any easier than that.
In addition to the intelligence, language, cultural, and personality issues that this person has, I also have to cope with age discrimination. I get that it is difficult to work for someone who is half her age. But, that's just life. She needs to learn to take instructions from her lead and deliver her deliverables on time and as instructed. I can say in good conscience that I have been as patient and cordial as I can possibly be. But, she just refuses to listen.
Last week, I've just lost it. Covering her ass by doing her crap for her while she's disrespecting me is just too much. I have had it, so I went to my boss for help. He wouldn't believe me when I first told him about the issue, but he quickly realized the severity of the problem after sitting in a few of our meetings. Oh, and what's more... he sat down with her to chat about how things have been going for her, and she had the audacity to make up all these stories about me!
The fact that she's worked 15 years and is still incapable of moving up the corporate ladder says something about her. No doubt she's had more life experience than I do, but work is work. And, she needs to accept the reality.
In addition to the intelligence, language, cultural, and personality issues that this person has, I also have to cope with age discrimination. I get that it is difficult to work for someone who is half her age. But, that's just life. She needs to learn to take instructions from her lead and deliver her deliverables on time and as instructed. I can say in good conscience that I have been as patient and cordial as I can possibly be. But, she just refuses to listen.
Last week, I've just lost it. Covering her ass by doing her crap for her while she's disrespecting me is just too much. I have had it, so I went to my boss for help. He wouldn't believe me when I first told him about the issue, but he quickly realized the severity of the problem after sitting in a few of our meetings. Oh, and what's more... he sat down with her to chat about how things have been going for her, and she had the audacity to make up all these stories about me!
The fact that she's worked 15 years and is still incapable of moving up the corporate ladder says something about her. No doubt she's had more life experience than I do, but work is work. And, she needs to accept the reality.
Thursday, April 05, 2007
What's in a Name?
With friends getting married left and right, a lot of girls are now talking about whether they should change their last names after they get married. But, to be honest, I never understood why women have to change their last names. It's such a big hassle to change all the legal documents, and why is the woman the one who needs to change her identity? God said man and woman become one after marriage, but He didn't say woman should drop her identity.
A lot of people are surprised to find that I'm not going to change my name. Some even asked if I'm not changing it JUST in case... But, that's just ridiculous. If I had expected to get divorced, then I wouldn't have gotten married with him. My pastor has once said kids may get confused if mom and dad have different last names, but if my kid's stupid enough to confused by that, then I have bigger things to deal with (like my kid is mentally challenged).
No matter how you slice it, I just don't get what the big deal is. Maybe it's just an ego thing. Some men just want to use this as a way to exert their dominance. If the real purpose of this whole name-changing business is for the new couple to become one symbolically, then why not have both the man and woman drop their original last names and come up with a new one? After all, it is a new family.
Interesting Wikipedia article on Chinese last names:
Chinese surnames were originally matrilineally passed, although by the time of the Shang Dynasty,they had become patrilineal. [1] The Chinese character for "surname" (姓) still contains a female radical, suggesting its matrilineal etymology. Archaelogical data supports the theory that during the Neolithic period, Chinese matrilineal clans evolved into a patrilineal property-owning families by passing through a patrilineal clan transitional phase. Evidence include elaborate and highly adorned burials for young women in early Neolithic Yangshao culture cemeteries, and increasing elaboration of male burials toward the late Neolithic period. [2] Relatively isolated ethnic minorities such as the Mosuo clan of the Naxi tribe in southern China are still highly matriarchal today.
A lot of people are surprised to find that I'm not going to change my name. Some even asked if I'm not changing it JUST in case... But, that's just ridiculous. If I had expected to get divorced, then I wouldn't have gotten married with him. My pastor has once said kids may get confused if mom and dad have different last names, but if my kid's stupid enough to confused by that, then I have bigger things to deal with (like my kid is mentally challenged).
No matter how you slice it, I just don't get what the big deal is. Maybe it's just an ego thing. Some men just want to use this as a way to exert their dominance. If the real purpose of this whole name-changing business is for the new couple to become one symbolically, then why not have both the man and woman drop their original last names and come up with a new one? After all, it is a new family.
Interesting Wikipedia article on Chinese last names:
Chinese surnames were originally matrilineally passed, although by the time of the Shang Dynasty,they had become patrilineal. [1] The Chinese character for "surname" (姓) still contains a female radical, suggesting its matrilineal etymology. Archaelogical data supports the theory that during the Neolithic period, Chinese matrilineal clans evolved into a patrilineal property-owning families by passing through a patrilineal clan transitional phase. Evidence include elaborate and highly adorned burials for young women in early Neolithic Yangshao culture cemeteries, and increasing elaboration of male burials toward the late Neolithic period. [2] Relatively isolated ethnic minorities such as the Mosuo clan of the Naxi tribe in southern China are still highly matriarchal today.
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Eventful Weekend
Friday night:
Games Night was postponed because we didn't hit critical mass, so we ended cell group meeting early and had dessert at Golden Island Cafe. The food was good, but it was fun to hang with some friends and get to know them a little better.
Saturday:
morning: lunch in Sunnyvale
afternoon: hiking in Los Gatos
evening: birthday dinner & housewarming party
In honor of a friend's 30th birthday, we went hiking in Los Gatos (best trail I've hiked in the Bay Area). It's a long time since I've really exercise, so hiking 5.6 mi in a little less than 3 hrs was quite strenuous for me. It's rare to see my cheeks so flushed without alcohol ;) (Click here for more pictures.)
Sunday:
morning: church (interesting topic on how to cope with emotional pain...)
afternoon: karaoke & tennis
evening: homemade dinner at friend's house
Key learnings from church today:
Neither A nor I have ever played tennis before, so J showed us a few useful tips. :) Surprisingly, tennis isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I guess taking the first step is always the hardest. And, to help us get the most practice in the short amount of time, Au helped us pick up the balls with his rollerblades on. :P
The best part of this weekend is that I got to learn a bit more about many people - including myself, and some mysteries were solved. Observing how different ppl interact with each other is pretty interesting. And, the way they handle themselves (either consciously or subconsciously) can greatly affect their social circles. I'm still a long way from knowing who exactly I am, but this is a start.
Games Night was postponed because we didn't hit critical mass, so we ended cell group meeting early and had dessert at Golden Island Cafe. The food was good, but it was fun to hang with some friends and get to know them a little better.
Saturday:morning: lunch in Sunnyvale
afternoon: hiking in Los Gatos
evening: birthday dinner & housewarming party
In honor of a friend's 30th birthday, we went hiking in Los Gatos (best trail I've hiked in the Bay Area). It's a long time since I've really exercise, so hiking 5.6 mi in a little less than 3 hrs was quite strenuous for me. It's rare to see my cheeks so flushed without alcohol ;) (Click here for more pictures.)
Sunday:
morning: church (interesting topic on how to cope with emotional pain...)
afternoon: karaoke & tennis
evening: homemade dinner at friend's house
Key learnings from church today:
- Praying will not take away away the pain... God will help you cope with it though
- The best way to comfort a person in pain is by listening without trying to solve the issue for that person.
- Just coz you have comforted that person doesn't mean it will lessen his/her pain, but that doesn't mean you should stop trying. You just have to be patient and let God do His work.
Neither A nor I have ever played tennis before, so J showed us a few useful tips. :) Surprisingly, tennis isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I guess taking the first step is always the hardest. And, to help us get the most practice in the short amount of time, Au helped us pick up the balls with his rollerblades on. :P
The best part of this weekend is that I got to learn a bit more about many people - including myself, and some mysteries were solved. Observing how different ppl interact with each other is pretty interesting. And, the way they handle themselves (either consciously or subconsciously) can greatly affect their social circles. I'm still a long way from knowing who exactly I am, but this is a start.
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